Speak Eagle

Flirting is Dangerous

Last weekend my family planned to go camping in the Smokies for fall break.  Five days, four boys, 30 degree nights, two adventurous parents and one tent.  Dangerous, I know, with the potential for crazy-boy injuries and visiting bears.  But I loved camping as a kid and am determined to give the same kind of creek-wading, campfire-building memories to my boys.

At the same time, us moms have to plan for our sanity on these family trips wisely.  I thought some gum might help my two youngest sons pass the drive time, so I bought two packs of Tangerine Trident at a convenience store.  They tore them open immediately and happily chewed their way out to the van.  It was a good decision.

I was buckling my 3- year old into his car seat when I was startled by a male voice.

“Hey, hot stuff.  You’re lookin’ pretty sweet tonight.”

My heart jumped.  I must say it had been a while since I had been the subject of heavy flirtation at a gas station.  But then, maybe he wasn’t talking to me.  I looked around.  Nope.  Besides the woman at the Redbox with her back to us, there wasn’t anyone else around.

I turned to see a silver SUV stopped behind my soccer-mom minivan.  The driver was rugged, dark, handsome.  He smiled.  “What are you doing tonight?”

I focused on Justin’s seatbelt buckle and stammered, “Oh…um…I’m actually headed out to go camping with my boys…with my family.”

I noticed two sets of little eyes peering out of his car windows.  “I see you have a few boys yourself in there.”  And then I thought…maybe it would be fun to play along.  Honestly, what could it hurt?  “Think our boys would get along with each other?”

He nodded.  “I think so.  And I think you and I could make some pretty cute kids together.”

With that, he pulled away.

Whoa.  That was some parting shot.  I giggled and pushed the last click of the carseat buckle.  Funny thing was, we had already made four cute kids together because…he was my husband.  And flirting was legal.

But this sweet little joke between a married couple quickly took on a different flavor.  I heard another voice behind me.  This time a female voice.  The woman at the Redbox.

“Men are jerks!”  I whirled around to see her planted in front of my van, hands balled into fists, ready to do some business.  “Do you need some help?”

Wait, help with what?  Oh no.  She didn’t…she couldn’t…she wouldn’t…would she?  I knew I had to talk fast.  But I was laughing too hard.  “Oh…no, wait!  It’s not…really it’s not what it looks like!  Actually that was my husband.  He was just trying to be funny.”

She didn’t look amused. And didn’t seem to have heard me at all.  “I saw you putting your kids in the car and heard him and…if you need help, I would be glad to help you!”

I looked at her scowl and her fists and didn’t doubt her ability.

I swallowed my chuckles and told my face to look serious.  “No, really, these are two of his boys.  And those were my other two boys in his car.  I mean, his other two boys.  Our boys.  We have four boys.  And I’m following him to go on a camping trip.  We just had too much stuff to take one car.”

Her fists relaxed.  “Okay.  I just wanted you to know I could help you if you needed help.”

“Thank you,” I nodded sincerely.  “I appreciate that.  No.  I’m good.  Really.”

She breathed out hard and got in her car.  I tried to wave a cheery goodbye, but she didn’t look my way as she sped off.

Brian had pulled around to gas up his Pathfinder.  I was shaking with laughter as I drove up to tell him what had happened.  And to warn him to be on the lookout for a woman who wanted to give him a knuckle sandwich.

Tent camping for 5 days?  Crazy-boy injuries and bears?  Nothing.

Flirting is dangerous.  Do it at your own risk.  Even when you are married.

4 thoughts on “Flirting is Dangerous”

  1. Hey Heidi! So funny! We went camping last weekend near Eureka Springs with Steve Marshall and his family. The Knausts met us up there for a few hours one night for dinner. And we also slept in 30 degree weather! We had a blast! SO much fun! It was my birthday celebration (my choice….I love camping.) And thanks so much for my beautiful card! Me and the girls admired it for a while! 🙂 Have a wonderful trip…..maybe you’re already back.

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