Speak Eagle

Snake Smoothies

Recently, my 3-year old told his preschool teacher I make him smoothies for breakfast.  She asked, “What kind of smoothies?”

He replied, “Snake and banana.”

Her eyes widened, thinking she couldn’t possibly have heard what she thought she just heard.  “Doesn’t that taste yucky?”

He laughed, “No!  Not if you put in the coffee creamer!”

When my mother-in-law heard the news, knowing I try to feed my kids healthy meals, she asked, “So where do you get your snakes?  Whole Foods?”

I nodded.  “Yes, of course.  Free range, 100% organic.”

I thought that was the end of it.  But then came the next morning.  Justin awoke happily and announced, “Mommy, I need to go in the backyard and dig.”

“Dig?” I asked.  “Dig for what?”

“Snakes for the smoothie.  And I need my goggles.”

“Your goggles?  What do you need your goggles for?”

He looked at me like I should know.  “So I don’t get snakes in my eyes!”

Oh, yes, of course.  I should have thought of that.

Being the gamer that I am, we headed out back.  He wore his goggles and carried the shovel.  He dug for a while, but no luck. digging for snakes Soon, I sidetracked him with other activities- and other foods.  I thought surely that was the end of it.  But it wasn’t.

The next day, again, he was adamant. “I need to go out back and dig for snakes!”

I was ready to be done with the game.  And whoever gave him this idea was going to get it.  I gave him the shovel and a tupperware container.  “Here you go!”

He headed out the back door.  I peeked at him every few minutes to see how he was coming along.  Finally, he came bursting through the back door.  “I’ve got the snakes, mom!  Get the blender!”

I looked at the dirt and grass in the tupperware container and asked myself just how far I should let this go.

snake smoothie blenderI got down the blender.  He put in the dirt.  “Okay, mom, add the banana.”

And that was my limit.  “Buddy, I can’t waste a good banana on this.  It would taste really gross and you wouldn’t even want it.”  He smiled, “No, mom!  Remember, we’re gonna put in the coffee creamer!”  Have I really taught him that creamer makes all things taste better?

So I added the banana and the coffee creamer, and blended that puppy up.  And he drank it happily.

No, I didn’t.  I’m an actress, and in the theatre, we only PRETEND to do things like drink snake smoothies.  I actually said, “How about we make a smoothie out of strawberries and bananas and milk?”

He didn’t look excited.  “I don’t like you, Mommy.”

Yeah, that’s the life of a mom.  So I sang the silly tune that I sing when I or anyone else is moping, “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I’m gonna go eat worms.”

Worms.  Eat worms.  Eat…snakes.  Drink…snakes.  Wait a second.  Don’t even tell me…the snake smoothie fixation was all my fault?

Friends- beware.  Kids are listening.  And they will make you follow through with the content of your silly songs.  Which makes it rather risky to sing songs like, “I’m a Little Teapot” and “There’s a Cow in My Soup,” or anything, I repeat, ANYTHING, about worms.

5 thoughts on “Snake Smoothies”

  1. Beautiful story. It sounds like you have a little boy with both the creativity and temperament of an artist. You may have a budding writer on your hands. That, or a herpetologist.

  2. Love this post. What a sweetie he is? And yes they pick up on everything. Love you friend. Marian


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