Speak Eagle

The Birds and the Bees and the Boys

Our two oldest boys, 9 and 10, dive into our comfy, brown chair in the living room and hug a blanket around their knees.  Brian opens to the first chapter.

“Tonight we’re going to read a chapter together from What’s the Big Deal? Why God Cares About Sex,” Brian explains.

whatsthebigdeal book cover

Our oldest son squirms and pulls the blanket up to his nose with only his eyes visible, wide as blue moons.

Our second-born, on the other hand, giggles like he is about to be given a map to buried treasure.  Lord, help us.

Then, they both collapse into giggles.

birds and bees

I had offered to let this be father-son-bonding time.  But Brian said it would be good for us both to be there.  Darn.

We dive in, using the book to help us answer easy questions from The Squirmer, like, “Why do people joke so much about sex?” and flip frantically through the book to answer not-so-easy questions from The Giggler, like, “How come people who don’t have any kids never wanted to have sex?”

This is Book 3 in a series published by NavPress.  Book 1 starts at 3 years old, teaching kids that God made their bodies special.  Book 2 starts to get more specific, however,  like explaining how babies are made.  After reading that, conversations around our house became rather…interesting.

Which is why I wasn’t entirely surprised to walk into the kitchen one morning to find my husband illustrating the concept of fertilization with birdseed and a lid.

The oldest squirmed.  The second-born giggled.  And I snapped a picture.

fertilization illustration with birdseed

Our pets help, too.  One night The Giggler yelled from the other room, “Mommy, you gotta come see this!  Emmy is giving Cookie a piggy-back ride!”  I ran into their room, and indeed, that is exactly what it looked like.

Being the honest mother I am, I said, “No, boys, that’s not a piggy-back ride.  They are having sex.  And we will have lots of hamster babies if you let them do that!”

Josiah squirmed.  Jonathan giggled.  (And no, I didn’t snap a picture.)

“When husbands and wives share their bodies in sexual intercourse…they share their love…because sex is a glorious gift from God,” Brian explains.

Isn’t it time to brush teeth and get in jammies?  I think it is.

But no, we still need to explain teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Whatever happened to Goodnight Moon?

We finish reading the chapter.  Our oldest has a question.  He isn’t squirming anymore. “What’s a Purity Ring?”

“It’s a ring that you wear as a promise you will keep your body pure for your wife.”

Our second-born isn’t giggling anymore, but he does seem a bit confused.  “A poverty ring?”

No, honey, your future wife would not want you to have taken a vow of poverty.  Believe me.

The oldest says, “But rings are for girls.  What could boys get?”  He things for a moment, then announces, “I know!  A purity I-Pad!  Can I get a Purity I-Pad?”

Nice try, buddy.

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